Pirate tales… from the Chalice of Mystery

“Ye must find yer way through a great bluewood door. Fire
won’t get ye in. An axe won’t scratch the hard wood. Only a friendly
knock gets ye in! Ye must be smart. Ye must be wily. Ye can’t hide
yer smell from the keen noses of the giants. They’d as soon eat ya
as look at ya.
“But me…I befriended the old red king. Old Saifferd’s got a fiery
red beard and long red hair. He carries a wondrous silver axe and
has rooms filled with treasure. He has a cup that creates wondrous
draughts- best ale I ever drank. Ye wouldn’t think it to look at me,
but I’ve seen a hundred and seven winters. I quaffed elixir of youth
from the cup of wonder and riled the ole boy up! Yeah, he thought he
had me, but I tricked him and sneaked away from old Saifferd. He
gnashed angrily and chipped three teeth when I got away. No man
is braver than me- Phestus Phagyn. Did I ever tell you guys, I’m
wanted by the King of Donothor? ‘Sniffed by the beast’ I’ve been,
and I sit here before ya. No man but Phestus Phagyn ever escaped
the dungeons of Castle Lyndyn. An old dragon smells every poor
soul locked up there. The filthy dwarves built them well, but the
dungeons and traps weren’t strong enough to hold old Phestus. I’ve
escaped from the Red Giants and the King of the West. Nobody in
Rancide can say that but me!” The old man gloated.